My Short Story

     A girl can feel so trapped inside of herself for such a long time to where she feels like no one in the world will be able to love her again. And that girl just so happens to be me. My name is Spencer and I am trapped. I’m sixteen years old and I can’t help but not think or feel that I can’t trust anyone. I have my two best friends, Ranai and Jaiden, and my mother Celeste. Those are the only people who I really talk to on a daily basis.

     I’ve known Ranai and Jaiden since first grade and we’re still friends until this day. Now that we’re juniors in high school we’re trying to focus more on helping each other succeed and helping each other with our problems. I still remember the day we all met in Mrs. Divine’s class. We all sat on opposite sides of the class because all of us were too shy to speak, by the time lunch came we were all friends, we’ve been through a lot together these past eleven years. And when I say a lot, I mean a lot to the point where you wouldn’t even know or understand. We have these sayings that gets us through the days we’re having a hard time like, “Nobody really cares if you’re miserable, so you might as well be happy.” Or “Life isn’t fair. It’s just fairer than death, that’s all.” You may be thinking “Whoa! These kids are crazy!” but we’re really not. We’re just three kids who just don’t care about some of the stuff that most teens do.

     My mother Celeste is the only person I look up to. She’s been through her own set of problems as well, and now that she’s a single mother it’s very hard on her. I barely see her anymore because she’s always working. My mother is a nurse and she’s on-call, so whenever the doctor needs her she has to go, no questions asked. My mother is like my diary, I tell her everything and she never judges me. She gives me the best advice that anyone could ever do and I really appreciate all that she has done for me.

     I live by two main quotes “Not all scars show, not all wounds heal. Sometimes you don’t know the pain someone else feels.” and the other one is “Words hurt more than anything else can, because they last, sometimes forever.” That’s why I try not to say anything to anyone, I don’t want to say the wrong thing and then they go off on me. I don’t want to be the person feeling guilty on the outcome. You never know what someone is going through but when you find out you will be surprised. I try to place myself in everyone’s shoes so I can understand why I do the things I do.

     Ranai is the mess talker of the trio. She always gets herself into trouble then comes running to me and Jaiden, then gets mad when we say I told you so. She always says “What happened? How come you guys aren’t into drama like I am?” I always say “What happened? Life happened, and you can’t change life itself, you can only change the life you’re living within. Determination is all I need to persue my goals in life and that is never going to change. You should think this way too.” Jaiden never has anything to say about these types of situations, he just shakes his head and laughs. Ranai is slowly but surely changing as the days go by.

     Jaiden is the rock that holds all of us together. No matter what he’s going through at home he always tries his best to keep this friendship together. Without him, I don’t think all of us would’ve lasted this long. Jaiden is in a foster home, his parents abandoned him when he was a baby and he was adopted by his aunt when he was six, about around the time when we met each other. We’ve done some of the craziest stuff together, but hey what are friends for? You wouldn’t imagine how strong he is. And he honestly helps me with my problems more than anyone else in the world besides my mother. Jaiden is definitely an amazing friend.

     The first year of high school, I lost my virginity to this boy who cared nothing at all about me. When I told Ranai and Jaiden they were so disappointed in me, but not more than my mother was. She couldn’t look me in the eyes for a long time, but when she finally did I was afraid of what she might say. All she said was “Be careful, the boys out here these days just want you for your looks, not for what’s amazing about you.” And all I could think about was how right she was, after that day I never dated another guy again, I turned gay. When I told my mother about that she didn’t talk to me for two months, and told me that I was a disgrace to the family. Ranai and Jaiden on the other hand just consoled me, and told me everything would be okay. After that I started hurting, burning, and cutting myself. When my mother found out I was cutting myself all she asked was why. I told her “I hurt myself so I can feel alive. It’s quite ironic that in life, the person that brings out the best in you and the one that makes you strong is actually your weakness. Sometimes if you love someone so much, it will actually hurt more. Jesus didn’t have to go through half of the pain I’m experiencing now. At least he knew he was special. I have no such assurances. I’m just another outbreak of the human virus which has contaminated Planet Earth, I’ve never felt that I’ve been valued to anyone. I’m just a waste of space that everyone ignores, like a ghost without a home. I’m tired of being made scapegoat in life. I feel like I’m being persecuted at every possible moment. Even if a kitty comes up to me I’m suspicious of its motives. I know it’s just there to make a fool out of me.” And with that my mother got up and tears fell out of her eyes, she left and went to work and never had a full blown conversation with me again. And with that I felt lost, I stopped hanging around Jaiden and Ranai, I started lying to my mom about any and everything. But all I was doing was hurting myself even more because lying to my mom made me feel less of a person.

     Not telling the truth, sometimes I feel like I’m at the edge of a cliff, looking down at the crashing surf with nowhere to go but down. I just used to have these flying dreams and I was so free but now do I fly I’m afraid. There are telephone lines and electrical wires, how painful it would be to run into one. I wonder if I’ll ever be free again.

It's Over! : How To End a Relationship

  When ending a relationship all you have to do is just be real about the situation. Don't be mean about it, you don't want to hurt the other person's feelings. Just sit them down and tell them how you feel and just hope that they respect your decision. The best way to break up with someone is in person. Breaking up over the phone, email, text messaging, or whatever else just shows how much lack of respect that you have for that person. If the relationship is going as well as you thought it would be then you just have to let them go and you can't do anything about it. You don't want people to hold you back by having you in a horrible relationship. If it's just not going right then do what you got to do.

How To Make a New Friend

 It's really easy to make a new friend. The key thing is being yourself, don't try to change yourself just to be cool with someone. When I make new friends I just go up to them introduce myself, and then start a conversation, just to find out a little about them. You never want to ask too many questions or personal questions because they'll think that you're all in their business. Just ask simple ones example, " What's your name? Where are you from? Do you live around here? How old are you?". Don't bore them by leaving an awkward silence then they'll say something like "Well it was nice talking to you" or " Well yeah, I'll see you around" Majority of the time that just means their trying to not talk to you. Being yourself is the key thing in making new friends, so just be yourself.

Prejudice: Causes and Effects.

  Prejudice means: unreasonable feelings, opinions, or attitudes of a hostile nature, regarding a racial, religious, or national group. Being prejudice is something horrible that is going on in the world today. People are being prejudice towards people because they are in a different culture, they speak a different language, because of their sexuality, because of their style and personality, etc. No one should be prejudice towards anyone because no one is perfect. No one can judge someone just based on their exterior insted of looking deeper into their interior. There is no reason why someone because their different than them, or any other reason. Being prejudice causes people to go over the edge, and majority of the time it can make someone kill themselves. And it causes a lot of violence in society. Prejudice needs to stop.

Impulse Buying: Causes & Effects

  Impulse buying is when you just have the urge to buy something and you go do it. In my opinion, there is no reason why someone should go buy something just because they have the urge to do so. People should have more control over themselves before they go out and buy something just because. Now I know there are some people who can't help it, but that's no acception because eventually that leads you up to hoarding and hoarding emotionally damages families and a lot of relationships throughout people. It causes you to be emotionally depressed and then you start resenting and regretting all the stuff you did for a cause with no legitamite reason.

Omg! No Computers?!

  Modern life would be totally different without computers, I wouldn't be typing this blog right now. Every essay and homework assignment would have to be written out. No more facebook, aim, twitter, emailing, none of that. Everything would have to be done the old fashioned way, mailed and written out. Kids would be focused on school work a little bit more because there's no more computer so all they have to do is homework, read a book, and play sports. Grades would be way better because kids are paying more attention to their studies. The world would probably be better without computers, lol!

Good Driver.

 What makes someone a good driver is how they take intiative about the situation their in at any given moment. Paying attention to surroundings and continuously scanning about around you are good tips as well. You never know what might be going on if you don't pay attention and if you're driving and you don't pay attention then you may end up severely hurt or maybe even dead. Driving safe instead of showing of is a good technique too, you don't want to try and show of to your friends then you and you're car is in critical condition and you can't do anything about it. Driving while talking on the phone is a bad habit because you can get distracted and you might hit someone then you'll be in an accident. The most important thing while driving on the road is PAY ATTENTION!

My AutoBiography,

    

It’s hard to express yourself in the world with all the judgmental people living within it. Majority of the people I place myself around usually wonder and question why I don’t talk about things that have happened in my life. They wonder why I never talk about my family or home life. The reason I don’t is because I don’t trust anyone but myself. I think it’s time now to spill a little out.

     When my mother, Alva Barner, was pregnant with me she was on drugs. How in the world could she do something like that to her child, her own flesh and blood? I could have died in her stomach or even when I was born, but I don’t think that she was even concerned about that. Something could have been wrong with me, although I do have two deformities. I guess she didn’t care that in reality, her parental rights were thrown away, forever.

     Now here I am came on June 2, 1995, born into this world with not a thing wrong with me. I didn’t go home with my mother, I went home with my aunt, Sonja. When I was younger I always used to think that Sonja was my real mother. Of course, I was confused, but it was best that they told me and didn’t keep it from me. My dad, Otis Hamilton, died before I could really get to know him. He died when I was six months old. So I guess you’re wondering who took the place of my father. Well, my cousin Shamira’s father, Roscoe Canady, took that place and adopted me (that’s how I got my last name). He’s been in my life since I came into this world just as well as Sonja and Shamira, which is Sonja’s daughter, which makes her my first cousin. Although she’s not my real sister, I still call her that until this day. She’s been like a sister to me and she deserves that title more than anything.

     March 13, 2003 was the most heartbreaking and tragic day of my whole entire life. It was the day when my aunt died of stomach cancer. She was in the hospital from November, 2002 until March 13, 2003. They took her whole stomach out. And when I mean they took it out they tore that mess up. She could only drink liquid from a tube. They killed her! When my dad told me she died I immediately broke down and started crying. I ended up saying forget everyone including family. That’s why I’m so distant from everyone.

     It’s hard to lose somebody that you love and would do anything for, especially when that person took care of you for most of your whole life. Everyone loved her, she was the nicest person on the block, and I bet they all miss her. But no one misses her like Shamira and I. As bad as I want to cry every time I think about her and how I wish she was here, I don’t because I want to hold everything in. And I know that’s not good because I might let it out in the wrong way. I made sure I visited her every day in the hospital, and trust me it was horrific. Watching someone die isn’t a pretty sight at all. No one should every have to go through that.

     She only came home once from the hospital and you wouldn’t imagine how I felt when I saw her. I will never ever forget that day. My dad told me that he had a surprise for me at the house, and when I came through the door there she was. I ran straight to her and hugged her and gave her a kiss on the cheek. I told her that I was so happy to see her and that I missed and loved her and wanted her to come home. She told me that she loved me and missed me too and that she was trying to get better so she could come home and never have to look back. The whole day she was there, I stayed by her side. I didn’t eat and I tried my hardest not to fall asleep. When I did finally go to sleep, all I could think about was her and when I woke up she wasn’t there. Next thing I know, a few months pass and I visited her every day. Then after a few weeks she was gone and I didn’t even get to tell her good-bye. I lost a part of my heart and soul that day that I don’t think I can ever get back. And that’s why I keep stuff inside, instead of just letting it all go.

What's Special About Me?

 What's special about me? Well I like to think that everything about me is special, because no one could be like me, or even attempt to be like me so i like to think of myself as someone special, a unique individual. The way I think, act, talk, walk, smile, or anything has to do with me being special, it's what makes me, me. I can't change for anyone and that's my motive to keep me going. What makes me special is my personality, there's no other like it. I'm all the adjectives in the world and that's what describe me, but one of them that I am not is fake. And that sticks out the most because I just don't see a reason to be fake, phony, all of that because it wouldn't be me. It would just break me in the long run and I can't have that.

Having Pride in One's Work

 Having pride in one's work means many of things but only one really stands out and thats Respect. For someone to admire and have pride in what someone did is amazing and that show's how much true respect you have for the person and the thing that they do. It shows that you respect their thoughts and feelings about their work and it really hit home for you. When someone has pride for someone else's work it shows how you will be as a critic. Judging someone on their work and not on their character is something else that sticks out because you're looking deeper into that individual to something so personal that they've accomplished and that's their work whether is a poem, a drawing, a painting, a speech, anything.

Diversity.

Diversity just means that you're different, unique, profound, significant, or special. Being diverse is a good thing because you don't want to be like anyone else you want to be different  and kind of spontaneous to the point where it's a really good thing. You want to be your own person and not what others what you want to be and that's what makes you unique. Diverse means you like different things, you do different things, you talk, think, walk, act, and react differently than other people do and that's okay too. People are often called diverse because of the music they listen to, or the clothes that they wear. Being diverse is one of the best things that a person could be.

Cooperation.

 Cooperation means a lot to me, it's very important. Cooperating shows how much of a good observer and listener you are. When you cooperate you catch more information than those who don't pay attention at all. Cooperation shows how much you can respect another person when they're teaching you something. It's important because you would never miss out anything when something is being explained to you, you don't know how important that talk could be until you listen to what is being said or shown to you. Take advantage of the simple skill that you have instead of letting it go to waste.

Communication Evolving From the Past 20 yrs.

  Communication has evolved a lot over the past two decades. Everything went from a simple phone call and mailing letters, to emailing, instant messaging, facebooking, texting, and barely any calls at all. Communication has really lost it's touch with friends and family and it's really taking a toll on people and their relationships with others. Communication has gone wild over the years, with all these different ways of talking but it's a good thing also because most people don't have all the time in the world to sit on the phone and conversate all day if their busy. They can just send you an email, text or a message on facebook or something and they'll reply back when they have a chance. People in the troops now have webcam so they can see their families when they are stationed. So communication has went from something so simple, to a little extreme but it's all for a good cause.

Teachers & How They Could Do Better.

 Teachers could do way better with teaching than they are right now with teaching their students. Some students are not even getting the proper material they need because of themselves not understanding the teacher, even if the teacher explains it over and over again and they still don't get it then that's a problem. If teachers were doing their job then no one would need a tutor, all they would need are study groups and good study habits to help them throughout their school term. Teachers should be more interactive with the students to get some opinions on how he/she could be teaching the class. Or asking how he/she can explain things better in class. Teachers can do a lot just by asking a simple question if they take the time to do so.

Conviences Changing People's Lives.

  The more conviences people have the more it can change their lives. The access to more things drives them to an extent to where they make it change their lives, whatever "it" is. Nothing in the world should ever change the way your living your life unless, the way your living isn't that good or you would like an upgrade. As long as it's not changing your actions and the way you used to be before then conviences are necessary to change people's lives. People's lives are being changed everyday but for the better and not for the worst.

So, You Achieve Fame & Fortune then Your Whole Life Changes? Wow!

 Majority of the people who have the fame and fortune today, claims that their whole life has changed because of the fame and fortune. They forget where they come from and try to act like their from somewhere else, they forget the people who helped them get to where they are, and now that they have all the fame and fortune they think they're better than everyone else, instead of being true to themselves. In my opinion, fame and fortune shouldn't change because you got rich and famous. Of course having the bling, the cars, and all the attention is good but it shouldn't make you who you are. You are never supposed to forget where you come from because that's all apart of who made you, you. Your community and where you grew up at, is all apart of you. Being fake just shows how much of a person you are, pretending that you came from somewhere that you didn't makes you look more like a fool than anything else in the world, and thats a shame. Never forget the people who where there for you while you were trying to make it. Those people will always be there, if you just treating them like another random person who pops into your life just because of what you have, they'll get fed up with your mess and leave you alone. Those are the people you need to be thanking when you're making your big speech when you win an award. Don't ever think you're better than someone. That's one of the worst things you can ever do. No one is better than anybody, who died and made you God? No one, the person you think is lower than you will one day be better than you and that's real. Don't let what you got make you, because one day it will break you. Trust and believe it.

Environmental Problems

 One big issue that is happening in the environment today is pollution. People are polluting everywhere, dumping everything, and not caring at all about it. No matter what law or fine there is about pollution people are still going to do it and that is just ridiculous. Pollution causes dirty air, and that causes a lot to be wrong with our solar system (global warming). For God sakes you would think that just because you can get fined up to $1,000 that people would stop polluting but they don't. Litering, polluting, dumping, it's all the same thing and it's gross. You wouldn't dump stuff all over your house just because there's no trash around because you want a clean home, so why would you do it on the street? Pure ignorance I think.

Public Health Concern

 Breast and cervical cancer are one of the biggest concerns of health in women today and I as a woman I feel that this issue should be taking upon more action than it is at the moment. Millions of women die from breast and cervical cancer every year and I think that someonething should be done about it. I think that the doctors should have their lady patients take a test to see if they have breast or cervical cancer at least every six months, because you never know how fast you could get something if you don't get checked regularly. No woman wants to wake up the next morning and be told that she has breast cancer or cervical, let alone any type of cancer at all. For me and all women around the world I think we have a say in what could be done in society to prevent and keep all the women strong, with no doubt in their mind that they won't get breast or cervical cancer.

Teenage Smoking.

 Teenage smoking is a thing that needs to stop immediately before it gets more out of hand than it already is. Teenage smoking causes brain damage, lung failure, and can even kill you. There is no reason why a teenager, or anybody at all, should be smoking. It makes no sense to me, why would you do something knowing the consenquences of  a stupid action. Live above the influence not below it. Smoking is very horrible and more people should be taking action on this crisis that is happening every day with every other teen.

Why is Math Important?

 Math is very important because you're going to need it in the long run. Math will be around you your whole life. You need math when you're doing your taxes, sorting out bills, paying for things, and whatever else that has to do with money. Math is very important especially when doing your taxes because you would want to know the right amount that you're giving and recieving. Math teaches you all the simple stuff you need to know when dealing with money. That's why it's so important.

Why in the World Do You Eat That?

  People eat the things that they do because they like the taste of things. People have certain taste buds that trigger them to like the taste and they just like it. Everyone likes different things, some people may think something is bitter, sweet, sour, nasty, or good. Everyone is different when it comes to the certain types of things that they like especially food. People taste buds censor off different things to whether the person likes it or not.

Dear Internet, What's Your Purpose?

  The purpose of the internet is to give you deep detail and insight of any and all information you may not get from a book. The internet has everything, from book reviews, blogs, online shopping, hotel booking, airline reservations, etc.. Some people see the internet as a big distraction in the teen world because of the social networking sites and everything else. Others think that the internet is good because it gives people all over the world access to one another, no matter how close, or how far you are from that person. Instead of mailing a letter you can send them an email, or send them a message on a social networking sight. Majority of people today are reconnecting over the internet, like old friends, family members, and old co-workers. The internet can give your child help in school if they need extra help. They can go online and type something in and get more information and watch videos to get a little bit more help. The internet has a lot of cool things and if you really think about it, it is a good thing for people.

A Change of Plans

 A situation where a change of plans become necessary if it's any kind of family emergency, or if you're in pain, hospitalized, or hurting, or even if you're feeling like the plan you're tending to take is not such a good idea. In my opinion, if you're going to change plans with someone there should be a really good excuse or reason to why you're changing plans. If there is a family emergency, like your parents/siblings/or any other family member needs your help or is injured or something in that such then it is completely necessary, regardless. Or another thing is if you feel like the plans your choosing to do is not a good idea then a change of plans is always necessary. Sometimes if you listen to your heart more than your mind then you will make the right choice. Because your mind just tells you what you want to hear and your heart tells you the truth just like your gut. A change of plans is necessary if and only if there is a good cause or situation that happend prior to the day of the plans. If not then there is no need to have a change of plans.

My Ideal Vacation

 My ideal vacation is a quiet day on the beach and getting pampered all day at the spa. If I could go on a vacation it would be to the Bahamas. I would go there and just spend all my time feeling the beauty of the island and the white sand and clear blue water. I would swim in the ocean and lay on the sand and let the sun beam onto my body. Before I would start my day I would go to the spa and get a nice massage, a facial, and a manicure and pedicure. Then I would spend my time sight seeing. And everyday before sunset, I would go to the beach and sit there and watch the sun set and notice how beautiful the world could really be. I would go by myself so I could live it up with no drama or any interruptions of my fun. That sounds like an ideal vacation to me.

Writing Prompt 6: Elementary and Secondary Schools Around the Country Are Beginning to Actively Address the Problem of Bullies. In Your Opinion, is Bullying an Issue That Should Be Addressed By Schools or Left To Parents? Use Specific Reasons and Examples To Support Your Position.

Bullying is becoming a big issue at schools all over the world. But at the same time it seems like no one is doing a thing to resolve it. Something needs to solve the issue or someone needs to handle it. That's why I believe schools and parents are responsible for solving the issue of bullying.

Bullying is one of the biggest problems in all schools today and it needs to be stopped. Children today are being taunted and pushed around by others kids at school, and for most of the time for no reason at all. Tormentation from one kid to the next is a bad display that should be handled wisely. There is no reason why a kid should go through the harsh reality of being bullying by a peer. Bullying needs to be discussed more in homes and at schools.

Schools should be handling bullying better than they are right now. The principals and teachers should be addressing the kids who are bullying other students. And they need to either suspend or send a notice home to the parents. Even have a parent conference about why the child may be bullying. Schools should even have meetings with the students avout bullying and the consenquences that happen with the bullying.

Parents should be lecturing their children at home as well. They have just as much responsibility for their childs actions. If parents would sit their kids down and let them know the rights and wrongs of bullying maybe the problem will be reduced. If a child is telling their parents that their being bullied then the parents should address the school to confront the issue.

Bullying is becoming a big issue at schools all over the world and it needs to be handles. Parents and the school system should be taking more action about it because it's a big issue. No one wants to take the responsibility for the actions of bullying. But Parents and schools are responsible because they aren't really doing a thing about it.

Writing Prompt 5: Some People Prefer to Live in the Quiet of the Country; Others Prefer the Hustle and Bustle of the City. Which Do You Think Is the Better Choice? State Your Position and Support it With Specific Reason and Examples.

The quiet of the country sounds good for those who love being isolated from all parts of nonsense. The others who like the liveliness and all the action of the city prefers to live there. No one likes to always be isolated and no one always like the drama of the city. In my opinion, I say that living in the quiet of the country is better. It's a better living environment.

I'd rather live in the quiet of the country because I love peaceful environments and I for one like to be isolated. The city is just too much for me. It's loaded with the extras, the lights, the violence, and everything else. And I feel that it's just a distraction from what people could be doing with their lives. Being in the country peace probably would motivate other people to do more with their lives so they can see other parts of the world.

Living in the quiet of the country can keep you away from all the craziness that happens in the wild city life. It can motivate you to position yourself with the right crowd. It's a better environment for those who may like to just sit out on the lawn and stare into the sky with no worries about what may happen. And for those who like to have gardens and wild animals without people or anyone in the community damaging it.

Living in the quiet of the country is better for those who love peaceful environments. The city is packed with nonsense and drama. The city is a big distraction from what people could be doing with their lives. Living in the country motivates you to see what the world is about. Living in the quiet of the country is better.

Writing Prompt 9: Some People Believe That Student's Aren't Learning Enough in High School. Should School Standards Be Higher?

Majority of the students in high school may not be learning enough in the classroom like
they should. Others just cannot seem to meet up with the standards. And the rest just choose not to meet up with the standards and mess around. But it could also be the teachers not the students.
In my opinion I think standards shouldn't be higher.

Students all over the world may be having trouble learning in the classroom. It's not that they can't learn; it's just the simple fact that they may noy understand the material. They choose not to ask questions because of the other ignorant students in the classroom who may call them stupid, or get frustrated with all the questions their asking. The students choose not to learn the material the proper way, and just struggle with the course.

Other kids just can't seem to meet up with the standards. Their slow learners and proceeding to make the standards higher will just push them way back and they'll never catch up. Making the standards higher will make each kid that is not already caught up fall way behind. They just need more help to make them catch up a little bit quicker. Or at least make them understand the lesson a little better.

The teachers also have a part in this too. Some teachers are not teaching well enough and that's why students aren't learning what they need to know. Students can ask their teacher to explain something and they won't even do it or they'll explain it and the kid still won't understand. If teachers took the time to make sure that everyone understood what they were doing then there would be no complaints about kids not learning enough in high school. Teachers are getting paid to teach students the things that they need to know and they really aren't doing their job. It's not their fault if kids aren't taking the time to study or if they pass the class, it's their fault if they are not helping the students when they ask for it.

Students all over the world aren't learning what they should in classes. Parents think that the standards should be higher than what they already are. Some students don't take the time to study or take responsibility for what they need to know. Other students are and the teachers aren't helping them. In my opinion the standard is high enough and making it higher will just have other students fall behind.